Thursday, September 13, 2012

Weekly Horoscope, 9/13/12

Aries – you’re going to try something new, and you won’t like it

Taurus – watch out for the corners of tables

Gemini – see a doctor about that thing you look at in the mirror after showering

Cancer – just sleep late this weekend

Leo – don’t pass anyone on the way to work tomorrow

Virgo – a large, unforeseen expense is coming

Libra – why don’t you call your mother?

Scorpio – you’re going to be out and realize you forgot something at home

Sagittarius – just let go already

Capricorn – one of your favorite TV shows will be cancelled

Aquarius – don’t dye your hair this week

Pisces – you should sleep facing your left


  1. Good start, but the Onion has you beat by a thousand leagues.

    1. As long as I never get cited as a real news article, I feel like I've got them beat.

    2. I've done these horoscope type posts myself, and believe me, I've got the Onion beat by 20,000 leagues. I know that Onion, he don't do nothing but make people cry!