Aries – you’re going to try something new, and you won’t like it
Taurus – watch out for the corners of tables
Gemini – see a doctor about that thing you look at in the mirror after showering
Cancer – just sleep late this weekend
Leo – don’t pass anyone on the way to work tomorrow
Virgo – a large, unforeseen expense is coming
Libra – why don’t you call your mother?
Scorpio – you’re going to be out and realize you forgot something at home
Sagittarius – just let go already
Capricorn – one of your favorite TV shows will be cancelled
Aquarius – don’t dye your hair this week
Pisces – you should sleep facing your left
Good start, but the Onion has you beat by a thousand leagues.
ReplyDeleteAs long as I never get cited as a real news article, I feel like I've got them beat.
DeleteI've done these horoscope type posts myself, and believe me, I've got the Onion beat by 20,000 leagues. I know that Onion, he don't do nothing but make people cry!
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